Dog and Santa

Okay guys. This is a weird one. Please tell me someone gets it:

Dog and Santa

Nick was an average 8 year old Pataran. His parents, Edward and Joanna, were very well off, as were most Patarans. Nick had every toy he could ask for. As much as they provided for Nick, he was never satisfied. A picky eater, Nick often refused to eat his mother’s cooking, generally on Wednesdays and Fridays (meatloaf and tuna casserole night, respectively). When Edward attempted to insist Nick eat his mother’s cooking, Nick would often throw tantrums, rolling around on the kitchen floor, screaming. One day, while walking along the shore, Nick spotted the body of a canid in the tall weeds near the sand. Nick approached the animal with disregard. Flies buzzed around the its face. Nick pulled a long weed from the ground and poked the animal with it. The canid’s body lay there motionless. Nick then struck the animal with the weed 3 times before the animal let out a quiet growl. Delighted by this, Nick struck the canid harder. In response to this, the canid sprung to its feet and dove at Nick, pinning him to the ground. Nick wept, afraid to move as the canid’s jaws clenched his throat.

Nick awoke the next morning to find the canid sleeping on the floor near his bed. Joanna called out, “Nick, it’s time to get out of bed!”. Nick looked to his door, in the direction of his mother’s voice and then turned over to face the wall. The canid let out a loud bark and Nick sprang to his feet. Nick looked, angrily at the canid as the canid growled, his head low, as though he would pounce any second. Nick walked guardedly toward the door and the canid’s growling ceased.

The canid followed Nick and his parents through the streets of Pataran. It sat quietly outside as Nick and his parents attended a church service. Nick hated church. It was boring. As the congregation bowed their heads in prayer, Nick attempted to slip out the front door. As he opened the door, he came face to face with the great beast as it sat just outside. The canid reared his teeth and growled. Nick closed the door in retreat and took his seat next to his father in the pew.

As the service ended, Nick felt a great sense of apprehension. Would the canid be waiting? Edward and Joanna exited in front of Nick. The door was held wide open for Nick. As Nick exited the dark church, the canid came into view. It sat attentively by as Nick’s mother and father passed. Nick followed carefully, never taking his eyes off the canid. The canid followed, cheerfully behind.

Years later, Nick and the canid had taken on new names. Santa and Dog lived alone in large empty house. Santa loved and simultaneously loathed Dog. Although Dog was reason for many interactions with children, Dog was the reason Santa came home to an empty house. Santa had wanted children of his own, but never conceived a child as a result of Dog’s threat of bite any time Santa approached a female with less than pure intent.

One evening, Santa sat at his dinning room table as Dog lay quietly resting near the door. Santa’s anger grew as he stared at Dog. The fat, disgusting beast. It never ate, and somehow, it was fat. Santa was no longer a small child. He would end the torment Dog put him through once and for all. He stood quickly, his chair slamming to the wooden floor. Startled, Dog looked up quickly from his nap and growled. He was older, weaker. Santa walked intently across the dinning room, every step pounding against the wooden floor. He grabbed Dog by the scruff of his neck and flung him into the next room, Dog’s nails dragged across the floor. Santa grabbed a broom from the stairwell leading to the basement. He would finish this the way it started. When he turned around, Dog stood before him. The canid seemed bigger, somehow. As Santa raised the broom handle, Dog leapt forward, pushing Santa back toward the stairs. Santa grabbed for the door atop the stairs, pulling it closed as he fell.

And so it was for the remainder of their days that Dog lived above, attempting to inspire others to do good, and Santa lived below, as a result of his refusal to do good.

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