Unwanted Pursuit

Not long ago, a female friend expressed disappointment in the fact that her ex-boyfriend didn’t fight for her to stay. It has always been my understanding that, when a woman says she doesn’t want to be with me, it is my job to respect her desires. The last time a woman told me she didn’t want to see me anymore, she seemed to want me to say something. I had nothing more to say. I was disappointed, but felt as though attempting to persuade her to reconsider would be unfair. She knew what she wanted and I had to give it to her.

There has been a lot of talk recently over what constitutes sexual harassment. I recently heard a woman explain the difference in sexual harassment and welcome flirting is consent. I envision myself talking to woman in whom I’m interested: “May I flirt with you?”. What if this question is unwelcome? Would that be harassment? I know this sort of thing comes naturally to many humans. As an alien, I tend to err on the side of caution.

Surely expressing interest is not the same as engaging in sexual harassment. Then again, whether expressing interest is justifiable would largely seem to depend upon any power dynamic. If I express interest in a subordinate at work, she may feel pressured to reciprocate. But, if she is interested already, expressing interest, may be viewed as romantic. It says “I’m willing to risk my job to at least let you know how I feel.”

It would appear a lot of what differentiates between sexual harassment and romanticness is how the pursuit is received by the pursuee. Earlier today, I found myself watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Why the writers of the Indiana Jones series decided to follow Mary-Ann with Willie is beyond me. They replaced a self-reliant, badass woman with a whiny, needy, damsel in distress. In one of the very last scenes, Willie tells Dr. Jones she is through with him and will find her own way to Deli. As she walks away, Indiana throws his whip around her and drags her back to him. She responds with a passionate kiss. And the village cheers at the man’s victory over his woman’s will! I see feminist favoring the Nazi in The Last Crusade over Willie.

Of course there is a great difference in fiction and reality. Maybe we can accredit this interaction to Willard Huyck or George Lucas and not Gloria Katz. But stories said to be some of the most romantic to have ever been told involve a man’s pursuit of an uninterested woman. And again, how can I gain permission without at least expressing interest? Maybe we just need to be more understanding of each other. If I express interest and you do not reciprocate, I should back off. If I promise to do this, can you promise to not be offended when I express interest without permission to do so?

This is my PC poem

This is my PC poem
Don’t read between the lines
There is no deeper meaning
But at least it almost rhymes

This is my neutral poem
It is neither wrong nor right
It is not controversial
It is not day or night

This is my flaccid poem
It is impotent as can be
shi pi fu cu co…

This is my PC poem
This is my neutral poem
This is my flaccid poem

It is everything it should be
It is nothing it could be
And it is absolutely not me

Dream 01.08.18

In hotel breakfast area when I spot a piece of scrap paper on the buffet table in front of me. The paper bears my handwriting. I review the paper with puzzlement then pull out my phone with the aim of documenting this. I hold up my phone; the camera is zoomed way in and the lens is pointed to a space just above the scrap of paper. I move the camera down to find the paper is covered by some other hand-held electronic device. I pull the camera aside and move this new electronic device down. The paper is not the one I saw moments before. This paper is one I’ve kept in my wallet. It has contact info: addresses and phone numbers of loved ones. Frantically, I review the page in an attempt to find the writing I’d seen moments before. I turn the page over to find nothing. Now there are several blank scraps of paper. I dig through them. Now some of them are bills of currency: tens and twenties. The bills are rolled up and stuffed into a cassette-tape case…
I awake breathing quick, shallow breaths.

Street Lit Writing Prompt 02/03/18 (Fiction)

I learned today that there is a warrant out for my arrest. Of course I did stupid things in high school, but I honestly didn’t know of what crime I was accused. I hadn’t thought about it since I was 20. I was visiting my parents in Boerne, TX and was detained by local police while they searched my vehicle. They said I had a pending felony warrant out of Austin and were waiting on confirmation. After accusing me of huffing the touch-up paint for my car and detaining me for 2 hours, they let me go on my way. This morning, a friend sent me link to an online warrant registry. There is was: Phil Force – Wanted on felony obstruction of justice in Austin, TX. On Monday, 02/05/18, I will enter the police station at 715 E 8th St and identify myself to the clerk. From there, who knows what will become of me. If prison is the destination, I don’t know I will allow my body to arrive as scheduled. My purpose here is to help others. When I find myself taking more than I am giving, it is time to end my stay on this planet.