Goodbye Love

Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Came to say Goodbye love
Goodbye
Just came to say goodbye love
Goodbye love

Most everyone here, I’ve met only once or twice. They loved her, but not like I do. On my knees, the wet grass is sure to stain my suit pants. The last time I wore this suit, was our wedding day. But I’m not thinking about the stains or our wedding. I’m focused on this gigantic hole in my heart, this empty, black space that was only so very recently filled. How can I go on without you? But to think of the future is not wise. Focus on the moment. Get through this. I’m not here. I’m disconnected. I can’t see straight. A steady stream of tears clouds my vision. It is cold today. You would’ve liked it. I squeeze bright green blades of grass between my fingers as I close my fist and I pull, collapsing onto my forearms. This, for some reason, reminds me of making love to you. I know I’ll never know that feeling again. The words of the song playing in my head are too real. I don’t want to say goodbye. I try to find the silver lining, some semireasonable twist as means to feeling okay. But all I can see in this moment is that emptiness in me. A kind pair of arms pulls me from the ground. Your mother’s face is red, her makeup running down her face. I’m reminded of your lipstick, how it never stayed in place for long. It was just as well. I couldn’t really kiss you when you were wearing it anyway. Oh, kissing you. It hurts so much just to imagine touching those lips with mine. Part of me still expects to go home and find you there waiting for me. But I haven’t been home in days. I don’t know if I can still call it home. It’s just an apartment without you. Goodbye love. Goodbye love. I just came to say goodbye love. Goodbye. You were, you are so perfect for me, my other half. I will find you again. Au revoir. Goodbye until we meet again.

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