Dream 12.22.17

Last night we were sharing a hotel room. My father had arranged for us to stay here for a few nights. The room was more than anything I could want to afford. We had spent several nights there already. In the waking world, I haven’t spoken to you or Dad in several years. But in this dream, you were my betrothed and Dad was means to my abode. We woke late with much to pack into the car. The hotel room still had many wonders to explore. I heard you playing pool in a nearby room. I didn’t even know we had a pool table in this hotel room. I felt the urge to stay. But it was time to leave. An inner conflict took me over as I compared my obligation to leave with the amount of belongings to be packed and my desire to stay.

Love Interest Rationale

If she is motivated by fear, she won’t understand how you love. If she doesn’t love as you do, she won’t understand your efforts to help others. If she doesn’t support your efforts to make the world a better place, you cannot spend your life with her. If you cannot spend your life with her, it would be unwise to sleep with her. If you won’t sleep with her, she won’t want to be with you. Sex is means to intimacy. There is no sex without risk of hurting someone else or yourself. To risk hurting someone else in pursuit of personal gain is selfish. Sex with one who doesn’t love the way you love may require you to give up on love your way.

But this society is asleep. The Id rules us. The presence of this understanding is reason to let fear motivate. To not let fear motivate us is irrational. And yet, you do not. You do not let fear motivate you because this is what love means to you. Because maybe it is rational if we aren’t afraid of being hurt, if, instead, we aim to reduce the hurt of others.

Rotten Poppy Pods

A hollowed out watermelon
Left in the wake a culture asleep
Dodging the eyes of a carnivore on a Friday night
Migrate to find my feather
Then I’ll trade the meat for leather
Or I pray that we start opening our eyes
Slowly moving from Jenny’s voice to Dad’s
Hey you. Hey you. Hey you. Hey you. Hey you.
From fucks to fists
And they are the same
Leaving bruises
Used up
Drowning in a sea of poppies
Searching for the one that will get me high
Mellow traumatic
Sir or get out
Hold still
Fingers tremble
Zero times anything
Trying to make love
Blood of a lamb
Sins of the father
Coffee and water
A camp of orphans
To what means?
And birds fly over heard
Guilty child
Don’t feed the raccoons

Behavior Modification Models

Behavior modification model 3: There is a man who lives in the sky. He is all-knowing and will punish or reward you as a result of your ability and willingness to abide by rules set forth in his book. If you find this claim illogical and refuse to believe in this man and/or his ability to punish you, you will be punished with an eternity of pain. This model may be most dangerous of the three as its most effective tool is fear. This model demands blind faith with the threat of punishment.

Behavior modification model 2: There is a man who lives at the North Pole. He sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake. He will reward you with physical compensation of monetary value as a result of your ability and willingness to abide by rules set forth by adults in your world. This second model requires the subject place significant value on physical gain. If the subject ever looses his or her desire for physical gain, this model will loose its effectiveness. Further, as culture states this specific faith should die as the subject reaches a certain age, the ability for the subject to discredit this model may increase as he/she grows older.

Behavior modification model 3: There is a little man who sits on the shelf in your room. He comes to life when you are not watching and reports your behavior to the man who lives at the North Pole. The benefit of this model is the fact that the physical presence of this little man is a constant reminder to the subject. Although all three models require a certain level of superstition on behalf of the subject, this third model at least provides a tangible representation of these powers said to give reward or deal punishment.

All three work to limit our actions, to modify our behavior, with the threat of punishment and promise of reward. They inspire us to engage in acts our society has deemed acceptable and refrain from engaging in acts our society has deemed unacceptable. As the second and third models may evolve with society, they may create little conflict. Our society’s current embodiment of the first model is taken from a book that was finished nearly 2,000 years ago. As society’s values and needs have changed, this book has not. Still, so many would seem to pour the evidence we find of a higher power through the funnel of religion in order to shape their philosophical perspectives. Ironically, when we let fear motivate us, we find ourselves further away from love. This fear of punishment is not of God. This fear was set in place by those who would manipulate the beauty that is our world into a way to control the masses.

The Competition and Love

It is widely accepted that it is physically impossible for two physical objects to occupy one space. Without this understanding, there would likely be no need to claim things for ourselves. If, in fact, multiple human bodies could occupy one space at the same time, there would be no need to specify living quarters for individuals. If our automobiles could occupy the same lane at the same time, there would be no need to claim one’s lane in traffic. for that matter, there would be no traffic. But these physical bodies divide us; They tell us this is mine and that is yours. In order to fuel these bodies, we must provide sustenance. This need for sustenance is often means to competition. This need for sustenance is often motivation to work 9:00 to 5:00 jobs we disenjoy. The alternative is hunger pains and sleeping on the streets. So we compete with each other for work, because work is means to sustenance.

Further, we compete for sex. As two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, there are only so many options when it comes to sexual acts. Could this be why men would seem more prone to competitive behaviors? Furthering this competition for sex, is the societal standard of monogamy. Monogamy binds one person to another, making each the other’s property. Of course there is much good to be said about monogamy. As monogamy restricts our behaviors, we become dependent upon the other for fulfillment, not only sexual fulfillment, but emotional fulfillment. In this culture of competition, familial ties are much more valuable than they would be otherwise. A child is born unto my wife and me. It is our responsibility to care this child until he/she can care for him/herself. Now, what if this child was viewed as a child the Earth. It is no longer my job to care for this child. It is our job to care for this child. What if I weren’t in competition with my brothers and sisters for sustenance, because there was enough for everyone to never have to go without?

I’d like to think that world is the world in which we live with the addition of a few simple tweaks. things make us slaves. We often trade our lives for paychecks, only to wake up at 65 with the first chance, but often not the ability, to really live our lives. And what will we have to show for those 50 or so years of work? By that time, the smart phones we spent so much on now will be obsolete. The nice cars we worked so hard to pay for, will have since broken down. Perhaps the fear of going without will have inspired us to save for a comfortable retirement. Now what would the world look like if we didn’t save for retirement, but used our money to provide for others in need? If we all did this, there would be no need to save; Further, there would be no need for fear of going without. Of course, if only a few of this live this way, we will surely suffer as a result of the rest of the world’s fear. Then again, maybe baby steps are the answer. Give as much as you can without putting yourself at risk. Hopefully our model will inspire others to feel less afraid and be more willing to care for others in need. Love can be infectious. It can be scary, but it will spread if we keep trying.