Lunch with the extended family

Lunch with the extended family. At the end of the meal comes the check. And everyone has a different thought about how the check should be split. Aunt Sophie suggests we each pay an even amount. Uncle Ralph objects. He thinks we should each pay for just what we ordered. Cousin Libby seconds this. Cousin Demi suggests that we each help pay for the kids. Uncle Ralph objects, “The aren’t my kids. I didn’t have the fun of making them. Why should I pay for them?” I offer to pay for everyone’s meals. But Ralph, Sophie, and Libby object. It is not my responsibility to pay for everyone’s meals. I offer to pay for the kids’ meals and let each adult pay for his or her own. Uncle Ralph objects, “You didn’t have the fun of making them either. They aren’t your responsibility.” Cousin Demi interjects, “But you make more than Sophie and me combined, Ralph.” Uncle Ralph retorts, “It was my choice to go to school instead of having kids.” I speak up again, “Really, I don’t mind.” The table erupts into screaming and I take the kids outside to play.